Dreamt tht I had been cutting yaself and then cut my left forearm off with the hand then knew I needed to get pharmaceutical help for it so I went to the pharmacy and then asked annoyed if I needed the rest of the arm that I saved and they said yes rudely so I had to run all the way home to get it (or somewhere where I had wrapped it in plastic) and it was all dead and blue. Also I was at a grocery store doing shopping in the frozen section and produce section getting mainly just green vegetables. I was really sad and scared to tell my parents about my arm and my mom was disappointed while my dad was like ok it’ll be fixed. I wondered if i would have to sew it back on myself and I kept asking if I should put salt on the end. I also kept crying with frustration at my life like i was depressed and calling for attention but it was disturbing. I had used an exacto knife. I ran around some little girl and her dad when i was running back annoyed to get my arm and the girl had apparently flown a small airplane once. I was running barefoot.
Woah just went back to bed and had an awful dream
In my dream I was at my aunts but then somehow I was so distraught I think or somethin over all of this Boston shit and so I really just wanted to get drunk but like it wasnt a conscious thought. Anyway next part of the dream I wake up at my aunts but I had a dream in my dream that I had woken up in some random lady’s apt in Allston where she had taken me in after I was too drunk or something and got hurt and couldn’t go home. I was really sad because I could not remember a single fucking thing from that night and was ashamed at how drunk I got and then my aunt came in my room and was doing yoga and we were talkin and she was like are you kidding you don’t remember last night? Well you called me really frantic and kept asking me to come get you and help you in Allston because you had fallen on your head but I couldn’t make it there. You were in a Czech part of town. And then it made sense to me bc the lady I woke up to had a Czech accent. But it didnt make any sense to me at the same time bc the mbta was shut down for the boston thig so i didnt understand how i had gotten to allston and BY MYSELF??i know i had also wanted to rant and yell at this one kid i know who is a perv and lives there but never made it to his place before the lady found me and took me in or whatever. Then I felt really sad about the whole not remembering thing and that I was alone during this. Then my aunt was having friends over and I went out of my room for some reason but my aunt all the suddenly had a ferret and it started to follow me as a left the room but it was freaking me out and grew into this fucking creepy monkey thing and I don’t like monkeys so I ran to my room and slammed the door. Then my friend Scott showed up for some reason in my room and I cried and told him why I was upset then all the sudden I walked into this random kid’s (who I have only met twice) apartment and he was clearly having a family an close friend gathering with food for the whole Boston scare but I walked in anyway barefoot and in a black tee and some like tribal print pajama pants with my hair down and looking really sad and lost and I just went and sat on a couch alone and sighed and that’s all I remember also my aunt was yelling at me when I was running away from the ferret and she was like see I hate this animal inferiority complex!! An I was like idgaf this shits creepy and also I was just trying so desperately to figure out what I had done that night and would not stop trying. And I had videos on my phone of filming kids back in my old HS practicing hip hop routines in a dance room?? But it was freaky to me bc their reflections in the dance room mirror wall did not match what they were doing irl and woah wtf that dream was weird and I had a dream within that dream and I think even a dream within THAT dream. That’s a first ahh
Last night I had a horrible dream where all my teeth fell out and I literally was sobbing with a fistful of my own bloody teeth and they just continued to fall out
Before you go to sleep you should say to yourself, aloud, “I could die tomorrow.”
It has a strange effect, saying it aloud. Makes this possibility seem more real, as real as it actually is.
Then say to yourself, “I could die in 5 minutes.”
Imagine you will in fact die in 5 minutes. What do you do? I mean really imagine, expect that, you will no longer be alive, you will be dead, in 5 minutes. Because this is the reality of it, your life doesn’t exist in 5 minutes, it only exists now.
when you creep hard on people you see in public places often and then you actually see them in that place after the creeping has ensued and you just feel uncomfortable because you know stuff that they don’t know you know
anon always welcome