its good to have goals in life and i think exercise and working out is a smaller, less critical way for me to play with goals and get a sense of achievement without any crippling feeling of failure or inadequacy if i don’t reach my goal! like i think its a healthy way for people to get used to goal setting, and not be so fearful of failing, in all aspects of your life
i wanna lose weight and tbh i kinda hate how, well ok there’s like the whole idea of totally accepting yourself as you are and beyond that actually loving yourself and simply seeing everyone despite size and whatnot as beautiful and yES THATS GREAT IT RLY IS AND SHOULD BE ALWAYS
i then literally feel insecure when i want to just lose weight because its like this
"man i gotta lose weight/get in shape!"
"OMG Shut up you are not fat you look great! stop it"
AND ITS LIKE COOL NOW I FEEL SHALLOW OR WRONG FOR WANTING TO GET MY BODY TO THE WAY I WANT IT TO BE
idk its a weird conflicting thing! like one should never feel ashamed of wanting to lose weight! but i usually do because its not like I’m really heavy or completely out of shape so for someone my size, someone who is not necessarily super slender OR quite heavy, theres this strange complex of feeling like you will get pegged as superficial or having an ED or something simply because you desire to change your body!
i never say really that “i want to lose weight” out loud for this reason, instead I’ve always said something like “i need to get into shape!” or “id like to be healthier!” but really goddammit i just want to lose some weight, be able to fit into some smaller sizes, and just feel better about myself in general! AND IM SICK OF FEELING GUILTY ABOUT THOSE DESIRES
does anyone else ever feel a sense of being trapped
trapped by life
u dont want to die but you dont get what youre doing or why
does anyone else ever get fucking terrified everyday in strong waves by their own thoughts and then break down and have a panic attack and then get depressed and then have semi-suicidalish thoughts
does anyone else feel crippled by their own thoughts and mind
does anyone else ever feel that what they are thinking is the truth and that its just something you will have to accept that the truth is sad and you will have to deal with it so you get depressed because you feel that there is no point
does ANYONE ELSE RELATE
DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM
I think I literally just watched some guy smoke crack from the window of the train at the station lol
Tell me a story about yourself about your life about something you think is worth telling a story about!